“sand castle”
written on 4.21.16

like a child in a sandbox
shifting sand to create my dreams
but love isn’t quite as simple to build
as we age the castle grows taller
life’s complexity causing the waves to grow larger
threatening to topple my sand castle

i wish love was as easy as saying i need you
but the older we get
the more of our puzzle pieces we find
the harder others become to fit the missing holes
so i stare at a picture that may never be complete

so in my sandbox i built a mansion
every floor built closer to my dreams
but without you i have no foundation
and the emptiness’s waves always threatening
to wash away all my hopes and dreams

so maybe before the sun sets
before the stars appear out of reach
i’ll find you in this place
and we’ll sit here on the beach
and let the sand wrap around our feet

“uncoupling”
written on 4.13.16

i know you couldn’t help this
like an ice cube left outside
your passion melted away
and when you spiraled into the darkness
i offered you a lifeline
but couldn’t let you consume me

the fading of your headlights
narcotics leading to apathy
not nearly as bright as the sunrise in front of me
sometimes when i think hard i can still see the old you
but that dream so faint as i drive forward

this didn’t play out as i imagined
nothing like the silver screen
but this life is still so beautiful
you just have to adopt to the detours

i can feel the second hand ticking
reminding me of so much i need to do
i hope you don’t think this was easy
like the beauty of a cut rose withering
i just needed to push forward

i hope the future has so much to offer you
that you find the light and rebuild yourself
this life is still so beautiful
you just have to chase your dreams

“the end”
written on 3.2.16

a line drawn in the sand
blurred by winds of frustration and the unknown
i witnessed our bright future dim to night
and lost grasp of your loving hand

a downward spiral consuming us
we both turned to medication
our life raft really a sinking ship
a fairytale crumbling in front of us

we moved our lips and made small talk
went through the motions and played the part
ignoring the depth led to a bleeding heart
and now my love has all bled out

and we both could point a finger
raise our voice and make verbal jabs
but that won’t bring us back
’cause we self-destructed
and now there’s nothing but aftermath

tied together by a promise
hope of a better life
but I no longer see you as my wife
too many years of heartache and strife
the end of everything wrong and right

“have to wait”
completed on 2.28.16

dreams, passion, the future hazy
one moment you’ve found home
then you’re stumbling in roam
a world of withering daisies

so maybe i’ve found hope
or just slipped to the end of my rope
when i see the tear slip down your cheek
i can’t stand to see you weak

we’ve cried in pain
felt emptiness and like giving up
but i’ll push life into your vein
save you from future heartache

you and i’ve felt alone
something we can’t overcome by phone
but i don’t mind the wait
’cause my heart won’t let me forget the date
that you brought joy back into my life

i’ll never tell you what to do
always love you for you
i won’t ever get in your way
’cause i’ll never forget the day
that you brought joy back into my life

(un)family

Posted: January 30, 2016 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , , ,

(un)family
completed on 01.29.16

sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water
the choice of obscurity over me
focusing on their pride
while i struggled to survive

the worst excuse that i could see
’cause this isn’t how a family should be
torn between anger and love
an emptiness i can’t get rid of

so i’ve swept away the stains
tried to wash away the pains
unearth the purpose for this life
to prevent living an empty dream

i’ve stumbled for so long
felt lost more than i’ve been found
an aftermath that doesn’t make sense
unclear who’s on my side of the fence

i need love to light the stars
so i can find my way back home
need you as my compass so i don’t roam
only change can slowly mend these scars

“crack underneath”

Posted: December 16, 2015 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , ,

“crack underneath”
completed on 12.15.15

the sliver of the moon
trying to pierce the night
because it’s better to go out fighting
than be swallowed by the dark

the winding road underneath
dimly lit, covered in sleet
struggling to thaw, attempting to freeze
the change a couple degrees could make

so maybe this is karma
for stealing the sun once underneath
the wind once meant to fill his sail
oxygen too thin for the two of us
the death of everything around us

whether you’re clawing out a landslide
or feeling the ice crack underneath your weigh
the uncertainty is the only thing clear
fighting for composure versus everything you fear

the fog of ambiguity
too dense to see the way out
your fear of the unknown
the death of everything you’ve known

the weight of life’s expectations
pressing my face underwater
too suffocating to breathe
gasping for what’s underneath

so maybe this is karma
for pushing the tide against it’s own
and you hate yourself
for life granting a brand new day
don’t let yourself get in the way

“if i had you”

Posted: November 21, 2015 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , ,

“If I Had You”
written on 12.10.13

it’s a lonely night
i feel the emptiness in my mind
a frigid night reminiscing of things that never aligned
an icy view of paths maligned

i see the could-have-beens
the worst headache of past regrets
i question the routes i took
i stop on your name in my address book

your smile flashes before my eyes
and lights up the darkest skies
i see all you have to offer
and how my life you’d alter

poetry sewing me to your soul
tying us together to make me whole
everything you are begs the best in me
your love making me feel so free

and we’ll grow old and grey
and that’s fine by me
’cause everything i see in you
is what helped me push through
life is so beautiful because of you…